


Like Drowning

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Knotting, M/M, Omega Castiel, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 05:14:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15478437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: Castiel is in a bad accident that kills his mate and his unborn pup. He needs a cane to walk. He lives with his brother Gabriel, who is desperate for Cas to start living his life again. When Cas meets Dean Winchester, owner of Winchester's Used Books, maybe, just maybe he can.





	1. Chapter 1

Cas felt like he was underwater. He struggled to break through, find air, just take a breath. His eyes flew open and he didn’t know where he was. Looking around, it was all sort of a beige and there were bright lights that hurt his eyes.

“Cassie!” 

He blinked and Gabe came into focus. Cas was surprised, Gabe looked terrible. 

“Gabe, are you alright?” His voice sounded strained and foreign. He cleared his throat and discovered that it hurt to do. His mouth was so dry.

Gabe was hovering over him. 

“Water…”

Gabe grabbed a cup with a straw sticking out of it and put it to Cas’ mouth. Cas took a few swallows and coughed. 

Everything hurt, it seemed.

“Oh Cas, I was so worried.”

Cas looked at Gabe. He really looked like crap.

“Why? Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital, Cas. There… there was a wreck.”

Cas tried to make sense of what Gabe said, but he couldn’t remember being in a car wreck.

“Gabe, please, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Gabe took a deep breath.

“Cas, you were in a bad accident. You’re in the hospital. You’ve been unconscious for over a day.”

Cas heard the words, but he honestly didn’t quite get them. 

“Gabe, where is Michael?’

Gabe’s face morphed into a perfect picture of fear and grief.

“Cas, uh… Michael didn’t make it.”

Cas reached for Gabe’s shirt, but he found he couldn’t because of the IV in his arm.

“What are you saying? Where’s Michael?” Cas could hear himself, yelling, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Cas, Michael is dead. He was killed in the wreck.”

Cas lifted his head and looked down at himself. At his flat stomach.

“Gabe, where is my pup?”

The look on Gabe’s face said it all.

Cas started to scream. He could vaguely hear Gabe yelling for a nurse. It had to be a dream. He just needed to wake up. He was yelling, “Wake up!” over and over.

Then there was nurse, injecting something into his IV. He grabbed her arm.

“Please, this is a dream, right?” And then everything got dark again.

  
  


“Cas! Time for breakfast, buddy.”

Cas sighed. It was the same thing every morning. He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to be awake. He pulled the covers over his head.

Gabe opened the door. “Come on, Cas. We talked about this. You have to get out of that bed, you have to eat. Now, come on.”

Cas sighed again. “Fine, Gabe, I’m coming.”

He threw off the covers and sat on the side of the bed. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Then he reached for his cane. He hauled himself up, leaning heavily on the cane and walked to the bathroom.

He came to the kitchen just as Gabe was putting his plate down. 

“Good morning. Here’s your breakfast and I expect you to eat it all.”

Cas frowned at him and sat down, grabbing the cup of coffee and taking a sip.

Gabe continued to smile and talk. He wanted to smash his fist into Gabe’s face.

No fair, Cas knew. Gabe was trying his best. Cas sighed deeply and took a bite of the eggs. They tasted like ashes in his mouth and he took a drink of coffee to even be able to swallow.

Gabe smiled at him. “I gotta get going. Promise me you’ll eat all of that. And try to get out, will ya? Let some sunshine on your face. You look like a wraith.”

Cas waved his hand. “Yes, yes, Mom. Just go to work.”

Gabe gave Cas a quick hug and left.

“Fuck off,” Cas grumbled as he dumped the food in the garbage disposal and turned it on. When any evidence of food was gone, he washed the plate and fork.

He went back to bed. He cried, which he did most days when he was alone in the apartment. Then he fell back to sleep.

Gabe’s voice startled him. “Cassie? You here?”

Gabe looked in. 

“Yes, I’m here. Gabe. Where else am I going to be?”

Gabe walked in and sat on the chair. 

“Okay, this has got to stop. Cas, either you go out tomorrow, and I mean go somewhere, not just go out and turn back around and come back in here, or I’m going to take you to see a therapist.  I can’t keep worrying that you’re going to… to kill yourself while I’m at work.”

Cas looked at Gabe’s face. He looked like he was trying to not cry. Cas felt a twinge of shame that he made Gabe look like that. Gabe had been his lifeline since he got out of the hospital. Without Gabe, he knew without a doubt he’s be dead.

“Fine. I promise I’ll go somewhere tomorrow. Okay?”

Gabe smiled. “Promise?”

“Yes I promise. Shit Gabe, I promise.”

Gabe stood up, “I’m gonna fix us some dinner.”

Cas rolled over and groaned. He knew he was going to have to go somewhere tomorrow, but it seemed like an insurmountable task. But he also knew he had to. He didn’t want to have to go to a therapist, that much was for sure.

Gabe chatted about work during dinner, and Cas tried to pay attention. But after dinner, when he’d choked down all the food he could, he told Gabe he was going to bed.

Gabe nodded, but said quickly, “I want photos of your outing tomorrow. Proof.”

Cas nodded. “Okay, Gabe. I’ll take pictures just for you.”

He lay on his bed in the dark room and thought about going out. He knew that Gabe was right. It wasn’t healthy to just lay in bed all the time. His leg ached more if he didn’t walk around on it some. And he knew in his heart that he couldn’t stay inside the apartment for the rest of his life. 

But somehow, going out would make everything too real. Michael, his pup, it would all be real. He suddenly thought about the box hidden in the bottom drawer of his dresser that had Michael’s ashes in it. When Gabe had handed it to him he nearly threw up. He hid the box so he’d never have to see it again.

He quickly changed the thought process to something else. He thought about what to wear tomorrow. Where to go. He seemed to remember a little used bookstore a couple of blocks away. At least, it had been there before… He figured he’d go get some books. Not only because he felt like he could read, but it would be proof that he’d gone somewhere to show Gabe.

He fell into a fitful sleep filled with bad dreams.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Gabe reminded Cas on his way out the door, “Remember, Cas, you promised to go out today.”

Cas grumbled, “Yes, I remember.”

“Pictures!” Gabe called as he closed the door.

“Yeah, yeah, pictures.” 

Cas walked slowly to the bedroom. His leg was hurting and he wanted to use it as an excuse to stay in bed, but he knew intrinsically that would never work. He grabbed the bottle of naproxen and dry swallowed a couple.

He pulled off the grungy sleep pants he’d been wearing entirely too long, and threw them in the hamper, then he got in the shower, sitting on the shower chair Gabe had bought for him when it became obvious he couldn’t stand long enough to really wash. He let the hot water run over his back, sighing.

He dried himself off and attempted to calm his wild hair. He really needed a haircut. He ran his hand over his growth of beard but decided he didn’t want to shave. Then he went to the closet and pulled out jeans and an old T shirt. 

Dressed, he grabbed his cane and his phone. He got the keys to the apartment that Gabe left in the bowl by the door. He opened the door slowly, took a deep breath and went outside.

Fuck it was bright. He blinked a few times, forcing his eyes to adjust to the sun. He walked to the sidewalk and turned left.

He leaned heavily on his cane. He kept his head down, especially when there was another person on the sidewalk. His nose twitched at the myriad of scents that assaulted it. He hadn’t smelled anything but Gabe and his own sickly scent since he got out of the hospital. He was slightly nauseated.

He got winded quickly. Leaning on his cane, he silently cursed how out of shape he was. Taking a deep breath, he pushed onward.

The bookshop was still there. It didn’t look any different than he’d remembered. The sign read, ‘ **Winchester Used Books** ,’ just like always.

He took out his phone and snapped a photo of the sign. Then he pushed open the door and walked in.

He was immediately aware of the comforting smell of old books. Under it was a mixture of leather, lavender and rain. An alpha scent. He looked around, and there was possibly the most beautiful alpha on the planet, leaning against the counter and smiling at him.

“Welcome to Winchester Books. If there’s anything I can help you find, just ask.”

Cas nodded a little and hurried down an aisle. 

He was walking around when he came to the display. There were copies of his last book, one of which was turned around to show his face. Copy after copy of  _ Out Of The Woods. _ There was a sign, hand-printed, stating: ‘ _ Castiel Milton. Lawrence’s own’ _

The world tilted. Suddenly Cas couldn’t breathe. His vision blurred and all he could hear was his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He sank down and sat on the floor, his cane falling next to him. He simply could not breathe. He began to hyperventilate. He felt like a fish who had been dumped from his bowl onto the floor and left there.

He was dying. He knew he was. What he wasn’t sure of, was whether or not that was a problem. 

He felt a large hand on the small of his back, rubbing circles. 

After an unknown passage of time, he began to breathe better and opened his eyes. His vision was met with the greenest eyes he’d ever seen, looking worried.

They belonged to the alpha that was at the counter. Cas took a breath and all he could smell was concerned, protective alpha. He put his nose against the alpha’s neck and sniffed up the comforting scent. 

The green-eyed man stiffened for just a second, then put his arm around Cas.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you. Scent all you want.”

It took a few moments for Cas to become aware. He was sitting on the floor of the bookstore. He had his head on a strange alpha’s shoulder and was scenting his throat.

Cas sat back, eyes wild. “Oh fuck! I’m… I’m so sorry. I’ve got to… got to get out of here.”

The green-eyed man put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. 

“Wait a second, Mr. Milton. You really shouldn’t be going anywhere. You need to sit here and get your bearings.”

Cas pulled away, struggled to his feet and grabbed his cane.

“I’m not Mr. Milton. You made a mistake.” He walked with as much dignity as he could find to the door, with the green-eyed man following him.

“Hey, let me help you.”

Cas didn’t turn around. “No! I’m fine… I just need to walk home.”

He heard the man say to someone, “Charlie, watch the register.”

The green-eyed man followed him out onto the sidewalk. He never said a word, just walked a few steps behind Cas all the way to the apartment.

Cas walked up to the door and unlocked it. He turned around, and the alpha was standing on the sidewalk. He smiled at Cas. Cas found himself giving the man a little wave of thanks. The man smiled brighter and turned to walk away.

 

Gabe listened to his story over dinner. Cas showed him the photo he’d taken of the book store window.

“So, you see I made a complete ass of myself on my first trip out.”

Gabe chuckled. “Well, yeah, kinda, but it sounds like you also made a friend.”

Cas looked at him with a frown.”Friend? Oh yes, I’m sure he befriends every cripple that collapses in his shop.”

Gabe winced. “You’re not a cripple, Cas. Please don’t say that. And he wanted to help, that’s all. I think you should go back and at least buy something. You wanted a book anyway.”

Cas did want to buy some books, but he doubted he had the nerve to go there ever again.

He laid in his bed, staring into the darkness, and thought about those amazing green eyes. And how wonderful it had been to scent the man connected to those eyes. 

He rolled over and snorted. He was losing his mind if he thought that the man thought of him as anything but a nut job. Plus, he’d recognized Cas on top of it.

That Cas was gone. He may have been a successful author once, but no more. The car wreck had killed that Cas as effectively as it had killed his husband and pup. Now he was just Cas Novak, crazy man and cripple.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Cas really did wish he had something to read. Gabe wasn’t the book type, and his idea of something to read was the letters to the editor in his favorite skin mag. 

Cas approached Gabe on the subject of him getting something for Cas to read. Gabe had laughed and turned him down flat.

“You want a book? Go buy a book.”

“Fucker.” 

“That I am, Cassie, that I am.”

Cas hung around the apartment, trying to watch television or a movie, but he couldn’t find anything that he really had the patience to watch.

The next day he prowled the house like a caged animal. 

By the third day, he’d had enough. He dressed, grabbed his phone and keys and set off for the bookstore. He hoped the alpha wouldn’t be there,  but if he was, Cas intended to apologize and just find something to read.

He opened the door to the bookstore and of course, the green-eyed alpha was behind the register. When he saw Cas he grinned.

“Hey, you’re back!”

Cas frowned. “Yes, I do appear to be. Look, I want to apologize…”

The green-eyed man came out from behind the counter and held up his hand to stop Cas.

“Hey, no apologies are necessary. It happens. I’m just really glad you came back.”

Cas didn’t know what to say to that.

The alpha held out his hand for a shake. “My name’s Dean. Uh, Winchester. I own the place.”

Cas reluctantly shook Dean’s hand. 

Dean acted like he expected Cas to tell him his name. But Cas just stood there.

“Okay! So not Castiel Milton. What can I call you?”

Cas sighed. “Cas. Cas Novak. I’m not Milton anymore.”

Dean’s smile faded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Cas shook his head. “You didn’t. I’ve got to get used to it sooner or later, I suppose.”

Dean looked at him for a brief moment. Then, “So, what kind of book are you looking for?”

Cas felt a moment of relief that Dean didn’t ask him why the name change. 

“I’m interested in Fantasy. Adult fantasy.”

Dean grinned. “I’ve got a good selection of that. Come on, I’ll show you.”

They walked side by side until it looked as though they were headed towards the display table. Cas stopped.

Dean stopped and looked at him.

“It’s okay, I changed the display.”

Cas looked at him, amazed. “You did?”

Dean smiled. “Of course I did. I was hoping you’d come back and it seemed to freak you out. So, I changed it.”

Cas was somewhat taken aback that Dean would do that for him.

“Thank you. I hardly know what to say to that.”

Dean shrugged. “Thanks is good enough. I didn’t want to risk giving you another panic attack.”

Cas followed Dean down the aisle, still a little amazed. They got to the adult fantasy section.

“So, what do you recommend?”

Dean looked thoughtful. “Well, there is a new four book series by Gregory Maguire about the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz. It’s really good.”

Cas picked up the first book in the series and looked at it. 

“This looks good. If I like it, I’ll buy the rest. Do you have any Neil Gaiman?”

Dean and Cas spent almost an hour discussing  authors and their favorite books. Their tastes were remarkably similar. Cas lost himself in talking with Dean. 

Dean was easy to talk to. Cas found himself smiling.

They walked to the front and Dean rang up Cas’ purchases.

Cas paid with his credit card. 

Dean told him that he would need to provide his cell phone number, just in case there was a problem with the card.

Cas looked at him, confused. “There won’t be any problem, Dean.”

Dean grinned. “I know. That was just my pitiful way of getting your number.”

Cas blushed. He felt his ears get hot. 

“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dean.”

Dean looked sad. “Okay, Cas. I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds.”

Cas shook his head. “You didn’t. I just… can’t” 

He grabbed the bag of books and hurried out of the shop.

That night Gabe noticed the books.

“Cas! You went back. Back to the bookstore! I’m really pleased.”

Cas frowned. “The owner. He asked for my phone number.”

Gabe was beaming. “Cas, that’s great! Did you give it to him?”

Cas shook his head. “No, of course not. I’m not ready, Gabe. I doubt I’ll ever be ready.”

Gabe scooted his chair closer to Cas and reached across the table to take Cas’ hand.

“Cas, I know how much you loved Mike. and losing your pup was… well, it was horrible. But you’re alive, little brother. You’re alive and sooner or later you need to start living again. You can’t live in the past, and you can’t stay cooped up in that bedroom for the rest of your life.”

That night in bed, Cas thought about what Gabe said. But then he thought of the box of ashes hidden in the drawer. His chest hurt every time he thought about it. He felt like crying, but he knew he’d cried enough. 

Sighing, he switched the light next to his bed on. He grabbed a book and opened it.

 

He really enjoyed the Wicked book and finished it in three days. He wanted to get the next ones in the series, but he was hesitant to go back to Dean’s shop. 

He read Gods and Monsters instead. It took him four days to finish it.

And then he was out of books. 

He knew he’d have to go back to get more books. There was always Amazon but he hated shopping for anything online.

He walked to the bookstore and peeked in the window. Dean was reading a book, leaning on the counter. Cas took a deep breath and went in.

Dean looked up and broke into a big smile.

“Hey, Cas! Back for more books?”

Cas smiled at him. “Yes, Dean, I finished both of them and need the rest of the Wicked series.”

Dean walked around the counter.

“I just knew you’d like that book. Come on, let’s go find the rest of them.”

Cas followed Dean to the aisle where the fantasy books were kept. Dean found the other three and handed them to Cas.

“Look, Cas, I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable the last time you were in here.”

Cas looked down at his feet. “It’s not your fault, Dean.” 

Dean smelled protective and Cas sniffed the air quietly. He loved the scent of Dean, the way he always seemed to smell protective around Cas. Cas realized how much he’d missed that.

Cas looked up at Dean. He tapped his cane nervously on his boot.

Dean looked at Cas and smiled. “You don’t need to be nervous with me, Cas.”

Cas blushed. 

They walked to the counter, and again, Dean rang up the books. When he handed the bag to Cas, he quietly asked, “Would you like to get a cup of coffee? No pressure, just coffee.”

And Cas heard himself say, “Yes, I think I’d like that, Dean.”

Dean grinned, “Wait here.” He ran to the back, calling for someone named Charlie.

A redhead came out of the back. “Yeah, boss?”

Dean talked low to her. Cas couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the redhead grinned and nodded.

They walked together back to Cas. Dean introduced the redhead as his friend Charlie.

Then he said, “Ready?’” and Cas nodded.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Dean grabbed the bag of books from Cas and they walked a few doors down from the shop. There was a cute little coffee shop that had a patio running along the side of it, with trees to shelter the outdoor tables. Dean led Cas to one of them.

When Cas was seated, Dean asked what kind of coffee he wanted.

“Just plain coffee, please, with a splash of cream.”

Dean grinned. “This place has amazing scones. I’m gonna have one, how about you?”

Cas nodded. “Sounds wonderful.”

While Dean was inside getting their order, Cas sat and thought about what a nice man Dean was. He was cheerful and caring. The fact that he was so easy on the eyes didn’t hurt a bit. 

Then Dean was back.

“I got a blueberry and an apple. Take your pick.”

Cas smiled and took the blueberry one. Dean slid the apple scone in front of him and took a bite.

They were delicious. 

They chatted about books, then that led to movies. Dean was appalled that Cas hadn’t seen the Guardians of the Galaxy Two movie yet.

“I haven’t… um… haven’t been out much in the past year.”

Lord, had it really been a year? Close to it. No wonder Gabe was so worried about him.

“Well, we’re going to have to remedy that. I bet you haven’t seen the new Avengers movie, or Thor Ragnarok either.”

Cas shook his head no.

“Wow. Okay, here’s my plan. Let me fix you dinner one night and we’ll watch a couple of movies.”

Cas felt something shift in his chest.

“Dean… I’m not sure…”

Dean looked sad. Cas hated that he’d caused the shift in Dean.

“Cas, look. I don’t know what happened with you and your mate, but…”

Cas stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dean put his hand over Cas’. “And I’m not asking you about it. I just want to say that I can’t imagine how painful it must have been for you. But all I’m offering is friendship. I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m not hoping someday we can be more than friends, but right now, I just want to be your friend. Just one friend offering to cook dinner for another friend.”

Cas thought about it for a moment.

“Okay, Dean. I’d like that. As a friend.”

Dean grinned. “Great! How about Saturday?”

Cas smiled back. “Okay, Dean. Saturday. Now, I really need to get home.”

Dean jumped up. “I’ll walk you.”

Cas hurried to say he didn’t have to do that.

“Hey, it’s what a gentleman does. Walks his date to his door?”

Cas tilted his head. “Date? Was this a date?”

“That’s what I’m thinking it was.”

Dean carried the bag of books and they walked along, not talking. Cas stole peeks at Dean as they walked. Dean smelled happy. Cas liked that scent. 

When they got to the door of the apartment, Cas turned to Dean.

“Thank you. I had a very nice time.”

Dean smiled down at Cas. “I did too. Can I have your phone? Just need to give you my number. You know, about Saturday.”

Cas handed Dean his phone and Dean put his number in it, then called his phone.

“Got it. I’ll text you about Saturday. Bye, Cas.”

Cas turned, went in the door and shut it behind him.

And he immediately started panicking. He paced the living room until his leg was too painful and he had to sit down.

That’s where Gabe found him, clutching the bag of books and chewing on a fingernail.

“Cas? What’s wrong?”

“Oh Gabe, I made a terrible mistake.”

Gabe sat down next to Cas on the couch. 

“What mistake? What happened?”

“I said I’d have dinner with Dean! At his place!”

Gabe smiled brightly. “That’s great, Cassie! I’m so happy for you…”

“No! I can’t have dinner with him. I just wasn’t thinking. I need to call him and tell him…”

Gabe frowned. “Cas, you’ll do no such thing. You are going to go to dinner. You’re going to relax and have a good time. It’s been almost a year, Cas. It’s time you started living again.”

Cas chewed his thumbnail. “I’m not sure I can, Gabe.”

Gabe put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “You can, Cas. I know you can. Just take this first step, please. If not for you, then do it for me.”

Cas looked at Gabe. He knew how much Gabe worried about him. He’d been wonderful all through this. 

Cas nodded. “I’ll try. For you.”

Gabe hugged Cas and went to fix dinner.

That night in bed, Cas pictured Michael in his mind. He was worried when he had trouble with the details.

“Michael, if you can hear me, I miss you. I miss you so much. I wish I had died along with you. But I didn’t. I’m alive. Gabe keeps telling me it’s time to move on. If you can hear me, please say it’s okay to have dinner with Dean. God, I hope so. I kind of like Dean. It doesn’t mean I love you any less. I’m just lonely. Please, if you can, tell me it’s okay. Please, Mike…”

Cas waited but he didn’t hear anything. Nothing moved in the dark. It was just silence and eventually, he fell asleep.

Cas spent the next couple of days reading the second book in the Wicked series and trying not to think about Dean.

On Saturday morning, he got a text from Dean.

_ Hey Cas. I was thinking I could pick you up at six. How does that sound? _

Cas clutched the phone to his chest. He took a deep breath and texted back.

_ Sounds good, Dean. I’ll see you at six _

He looked at the list of contacts in his phone. There was Michael’s number.

He had called Michael’s phone every day for the first six months. He listened to Michael’s voice mail, just to hear his voice.

_ Hey, you’ve reached Michael Milton. If you leave your name and the reason why you called, maybe I’ll call you back. No promises, though. Bye. _

After six months, Gabe had finally convinced him it was crazy to pay for a phone no one was ever going to use again, so Cas had stopped. But he could still hear it in his head, and he never had the courage to delete Michael’s number.

 

He paced the living room, with Gabe telling him to relax. 

At precisely six, there was a knock on the door.

“Oh fuck, he’s here.”

Gabe stood up and walked to the door. “Take a deep breath, Cassie, you look like you’re going to pass out.”

Gabe opened the door with a smile.

Cas heard Dean’s voice. “Hey! I’m here to pick up Cas.You must be his brother.”

Gabe stepped aside and Dean came in.

“That I am. Pleased to meet you, Dean.”

Dean looked at Cas and his whole face lit up.

“Hey, Cas. You look great!”

He turned to Gabe. “Oh yeah, pleasure to meet you too.”

Gabe was smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

“You two run along, and have fun!”

Cas grabbed his cane. Dean held the door open for him.

Gabe whispered as he walked by, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Cas whispered back, “And what exactly wouldn’t you do?”

Gabe chuckled. “Exactly!”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean opened the car door for Cas, and when he was in, Dean walked around and got behind the wheel.  
“Hope you like cheeseburgers, Cas.”  
Cas grinned. “Who doesn’t like cheeseburgers?”  
Dean laughed. “No one I’d be friends with.”  
He played oldies on the way to his house, and Cas was glad for the distraction.   
When they pulled up to Dean’s house, Cas was impressed. It was a cute two story with a wonderful yard. There was an apple tree that shaded the front of the house.  
Dean opened Cas’ door for him and they walked to the door.  
Once inside, Cas was still impressed. It was a cozy room, with comfortable looking furniture and a big fireplace. There was a big screen TV across from the couch.  
“Welcome to my humble abode.”  
Cas turned and smiled at him.  
“It’s lovely, Dean, really.”  
Dean smiled and ducked his head.  
“I did all the prep work before I picked you up. It shouldn’t take long at all. Make yourself at home.”  
He walked to the kitchen. Cas took a few minutes to walk around and look at the room. There were family pictures on the mantle. He looked at them, they were mostly of a blonde woman holding a small Dean, and they were smiling. The rest were of a man, a very tall man. One was of him graduating college, it seemed.  
“Is this your family?” He called out.  
Dean said from the kitchen, “Yeah. Most of them are of my younger brother.”  
Cas walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.  
“I’m glad you came, Cas. I was kind of afraid you’d change your mind.”  
Cas smiled. “I almost did. Gabe convinced me to come.”  
Dean turned and looked at him. “Then I guess I owe Gabe a thanks.”  
Cas chuckled. “Please don’t. He’s insufferable enough as it is.”  
The burgers were delicious and so were the potato wedges. Cas told Dean how good everything was and that he was impressed.  
Dean looked sheepish. “Don’t be. It would take an idiot to mess up burgers.”  
Dean grabbed them both a beer and they sat on the couch. He queued up the movie.  
Cas sat back and took a deep breath.   
Cas was enjoying the movie a lot. He glanced at Dean, and Dean was looking at him.  
Cas blushed. “Watch the movie, Dean.”  
Dean said quietly, “I’ve already seen the movie, Cas. I’d rather look at you.”  
“Don’t.”   
Dean turned his attention back to the television with a slight sigh.  
Dean turned the movie off after the final credits rolled. He turned to Cas.  
Cas was smiling brightly. “I really enjoyed that, Dean.”  
Dean smiled back. “I’m glad, Cas. do you want to watch another one?”  
Cas shook his head. “I think one is enough.”  
“That means you’ll have to come back next Saturday for the next one.”  
Cas felt his face getting red. “Yeah, I guess it does.”  
Dean face lit up. “Great! Want another beer?”  
Cas sniffed up the scent of happy alpha. “Sure, I guess one more would be alright.”  
Dean grabbed up the empties and went to get two more. Cas sat and thought about the evening. He really liked Dean. He was easy to talk to and smelled terrific. But Cas was worried that Dean was getting the wrong impression.  
When Dean came back with the beer, Cas took one. He took a swallow.  
“Dean, I think we need to talk.”  
Dean looked crestfallen. “Oh fuck. That’s never good.”  
Cas chuckled. “It’s not bad exactly. I just don’t want to give you the wrong impression of where this is going.”  
Dean looked at him. “I get it Cas. All you want is to be friends.”  
Cas nodded. “That’s it. Just friends.”  
Dean nodded back. “I get that. I’m not going to tell you I wish there could be something more, but if all we are is friends, then that’s good enough for me.”  
Sighing, Cas sat his beer down and turned on the couch to look at Dean.  
“Dean, you don’t know me. I’m broken. Not just my bum leg, I’m broken inside. You deserve someone whole, someone better.”  
Dean got a very serious look. “Cas, you’re not broken. I know you’re sad, and I understand why. Well, not exactly, but I get that you got hurt. But that doesn’t mean you’re broken. You’re the smartest, funniest omega I’ve ever met. Not to mention you’re drop-dead gorgeous. You’re a lot of things, Cas, but broken is not one of them. I doubt there is anyone better than you.”  
Cas grabbed his cane and stood up.   
“I need to go home now.”  
Dean stood up. “Okay, Cas. But I’m holding you to next Saturday.”  
Cas nodded.

Gabe wanted all the juicy details.   
“There are no juicy details. He made burgers. We watched the movie. And then I came home.”  
Gabe frowned. “Are you seeing him again?”  
Cas sighed. “I said I’d watch another movie with him next Saturday.”  
Gabe hugged Cas. “That’s good, Cassie. That’s really good.”  
That night in bed, Cas cried for the first time in weeks. But this time it was different. He wasn’t crying because he was sad, he was crying because he was angry.  
“Damn you, you son of a bitch! Why did you have to die and leave me here? I don’t know how to live by myself. I’m floundering and it’s all your fault. You fucker, I’m lost here…”  
He cried himself to a fitful sleep filled with weird dreams he couldn’t quite remember.  
He got up the next morning and wandered to the kitchen, looking for all the world like a madman.  
Gabe looked at him and frowned, but handed him a cup of coffee.  
“What do you want for breakfast?”  
Cas growled, “Nothing. I’m not hungry.’  
Gabe’s frown deepened. “You’ve got to eat something.”  
Cas yelled, “I said I’m not hungry!”  
Gabe walked over to stand in front of him.  
“What crawled up your ass and died?”  
Cas began to scream. “Michael! He crawled up my ass and knocked me up and then he died! And he took our pup with him. I hate him! I hate him so much. He left me and took our pup and I hate him…”  
Gabe took a step back. Cas started to hyperventilate. He fell to the floor and curled up in a ball, wheezing out how much he hated Michael.  
Gabe ran and got Cas’ phone. He found Dean’s number and called.  
“Hello, Cas?”  
Gabe was frantic. “No this is Gabe. Cas is on the floor and making no sense and I don’t know what to do…”  
Dean took a breath. “I know exactly what to do. Try to get him to breathe. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”


	6. Chapter 6

Gabe opened the door as soon as Dean knocked. He looked frantic.

“I managed to get him on the couch but he still is having trouble breathing.”

The entire apartment reeked of hysterical omega, and it nearly gagged Dean. Gabe was lucky he was a beta and couldn’t smell it.

Dean rushed over and sat next to where Cas was balled up on the couch.

“Hey baby, it’s gonna be okay. Come’ere.”

He pulled Cas up to a sitting position, wrapped one arm around Cas’ shoulder and put the other hand at the back of Cas’ head. He pulled Cas’ head against the crook of his neck.

“Come on, Cas, scent me. It’s okay, baby, I got you. You’re safe. It’s all going to be alright.”

Cas buried his face against Dean’s throat and began to sniff.

“That’s it, baby. Take a good whiff.”

Cas scented protective, calm alpha. He began to breathe more easily and sniff deeper. His body began to relax and he sagged against Dean. “That’s it baby. You’re alright now.” Dean glanced up at Gabe, who had his mouth open and a look of complete surprise on his face. 

Dean smiled at him and nodded just slightly. Gabe nodded back and left the room.

Cas was breathing normally but he still had his face plastered to Dean’s throat and Dean just let him be. 

Finally, Cas pulled his face back.

“Dean? How… what are you doing here?”

Dean smiled at him. “Gabe called me. I guess he thought I could help.”

Cas wanted the floor to open and suck him into a hole. But since that didn’t seem to be happening, he shrugged.

“Thank you. This is twice you helped me. I’m so sorry you keep getting drug into my meltdowns.”

Dean cupped Cas’ face with his hand.

“Hey, none of that. I’m just glad I can help. Now, you want to tell me what brought this one on?”

Cas sighed deeply. He guessed Dean deserved some kind of explanation. 

“It’s hard… you know? But I’ll try. I owe you an explanation, I know.”

Dean sat back, but put one hand on Cas’ knee.

“I was mated, married. You know that. But what you don’t know is that… my mate was killed in an accident almost a year ago.”

Dean’s hand tightened on Cas’ knee. “Holy fu… Cas, I’m so sorry.”

Cas almost laughed. He was still feeling a little hysterical.

“That’s not all. I was pregnant. The crash killed my pup too.”

Dean looked like he was going to cry. He pulled Cas into a fierce hug. Cas let him.

He spoke softly into Cas’ ear, “That’s what happened to your leg.”

Cas nodded against Dean’s chest.

“Baby, I’m so, so sorry.”

Cas decided he didn’t mind Dean calling him ‘baby’ one little bit.

He pulled back just a little and looked into those amazing green eyes. 

“Can I…” He blushed.

“Of course you can.”

Cas put his nose against Dean’s throat and took one big sniff. 

“I like you, Dean.”

Dean grinned. “That’s good because I like you too, Cas.”

Cas sat back.

Dean was smiling at him and it made Cas’ stomach flutter just a little.

“You know, it’s a beautiful day. What do you say, we go to the park for awhile?” Dean looked hopefully at Cas.

Cas smiled. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” That’s when Cas realized he was still in his sleep pants and ratty T shirt with the big hole in the armpit. And he was sure his hair was standing on end.

“Uh, just let me get ready?”

Dean patted Cas’ knee. “Take your time. I’m gonna ask Gabe for a cup of coffee.”

Cas grabbed his cane and headed for his bedroom. Dean stood up and walked into the kitchen where Gabe sat at the table.

“Dean, I can’t believe how you helped Cas like that.”

Dean took the offered cup of coffee, and leaned against the counter where he had a good view of the hall.

“Why do you say that? It’s only what any alpha would do.”

Gabe scoffed. “You’d think so, but not Michael.”

Dean frowned. “Cas’ mate?”

Gabe sighed. “Yeah, he was a real piece of work. He pretty much ignored Cas most of the time. I never once saw him let Cas scent him.”

Dean couldn’t believe his ears.

“You have got to be shitting me. What did Cas see in him?”

“Fuck if I know. Cas used to be the biggest cuddler, just loved to snuggle. Michael thought that was beneath him. But you couldn’t say anything to Cas.”

Dean finished his coffee and looked down the hall to see Cas coming.

“Yeah, I agree, apple is the best.”

Gabe winked at him.

Cas had pulled himself together nicely. Dean looked him up and down and winked at him. Cas blushed.

“So, you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. Bye Gabe. And thanks.”

Gabe grinned, “Have fun, you two.”

Dean led Cas out to his car. Again he held the door open for Cas. He drove to the large park and parked. He and Cas got out.

“Want to go to the lake?”

Cas nodded. So they walked towards the lake, with Dean taking it slow in deference to Cas’ leg.

They sat on a bench and just looked at the water and the ducks. Cas sighed.

“You okay?”

Cas turned his head and looked at Dean. “Everything is perfect, for once. I can’t thank you enough for putting up with me, Dean.”

“Hey, none of that. We’re friends, right? That’s what friends do for each other.”

Cas smiled and looked back at the lake.

Then the sound of Cas’s stomach growling was impossible to ignore.

Cas blushed. “I guess I missed breakfast.”

Dean chuckled. “So did I. Let’s go get something to eat.”

They stood up and began to walk back to the car. Dean noticed Cas was limping and leaning more on his cane than usual.

“Fuck, Cas, we walked too far.”

Cas sighed. “No, I really need to walk more. There were these exercises I was supposed to do after I got out of the hospital, and I just never did them.”

Dean frowned. “And why not?”

Cas looked at him. “Because they require a person to help me, and Gabe already had enough to do just helping me.”

“Well, now you’ve got me, and we’re going to do them. No arguments.”

They went to a nice little diner and ate breakfast. Then Dean drove Cas back to his apartment.

“Come on, no time like the present. Show me what to do.” Dean crossed his arms. Cas sighed and went to look for the booklet they’d sent home with him.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Cas found the booklet that he’d been given and handed it to Dean. Dean sat on the couch and read it. When he was done, he said, “Okay. Go change into sweats and get on the bed. Call me when you’re ready.”

Cas did as he was told, and laid back on the bed.    
“Ready…”

Dean walked in a stopped, taking in the sight. But then he went and sat on the bed. He looked at the diagram, and grabbed Cas’ ankle.

He pushed it up, bending Cas’ knee and pushing it to Cas’ chest. He held for a moment and then rolled the leg to the side.

Cas groaned.

“Am I hurting you? Maybe we should stop?”

Gabe walked in the door just as Dean said it. His eyes got big and he slowly creeped to the bedroom door. He covered his eyes with his hand, and peeked around the corner. 

He spread his fingers, and looked at Dean, who was kneeling between Cas’ legs and had one of Cas’ legs bent up. 

“Uh, whatcha kids doing in there?”

Cas looked at him and frowned. “Gabe, Dean is just helping me exercise my leg.”

Gabe laughed. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Exercise?”

“Go away, Gabe.” 

Dean blushed. He let go of Cas’ leg.

Cas propped himself up on his elbows and his eyes wandered to Dean’s crotch. There was a very noticeable bulge in his jeans.

“Uh yeah. I probably should get going. Uh… yeah…” Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

“I think that’s good enough.” Cas pulled away and swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

Dean blushed, and scrambled off the bed.

“Yeah, I should definitely get going.” He rubbed the back of his neck again and shook one leg, trying to arrange things in his pants.

Cas giggled. “Okay. I’ll come by the shop one day this week.”

Dean hurried to the front door, Cas following.

“Thank you for the park, and for helping with my exercises.”

Dean grinned. “Anytime, Cas.”

Cas walked to the kitchen, where Gabe was washing dishes.

“We weren’t doing anything, you know that, right?”

Gabe stopped and dried his hands. He turned and smiled at Cas.

“I know, but I kind of wish you were, Cas. You deserve someone in your life. And I really like Dean.”

Cas smiled back at him. “I do too, Gabe. I like him a lot. But I’m not ready.”

Gabe sighed and went back to washing dishes.

 

Cas walked to the bookshop on Wednesday. He smiled at Charlie who was behind the register. Charlie pointed to the back of the store. 

“He’s back there, putting away some new books.”

Cas nodded and walked to the back, where Dean was bent over putting books on the bottom shelf of a bookcase.

Cas paused to check out Dean’s ass. It was a very nice ass.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean looked up and his whole face lit up.

“Hey, Cas. How are you today?”

Cas smiled. “I’m good. I’m sorry I interrupted you.”

Dean stood up. “You are never an interruption.”

Dean wiped his hands on a towel that laid on a shelf.

“In fact, I was just thinking how great a cup of coffee would be. Join me?”

“I’d like that, Dean.”

They walked to the coffee shop and Cas sat on the patio and Dean went and got them coffee and scones again.

“So, Gabe is going to help me with my exercises.”

Dean actually blushed. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Cas had to suppress a giggle.

They talked about books and music. Cas found out about Dean’s obsession with classic rock. Cas told him he loved classic rock but he also listened to more obscure music like gregorian monks chanting and American Indian drumming.

To Dean’s credit, he said he’d give them a try sometime. Cas didn’t believe a word of it.

“So, I was thinking Thor Ragnarok this Saturday.”

“Sounds good, Dean. I’m looking forward to it.”

Dean insisted on walking Cas home.

 

They started watching movies every Saturday and Cas went to the book shop and had coffee with Dean at least once a week, sometimes twice.

Gabe was thrilled. 

Cas was forced to admit, he really enjoyed Dean’s company.

Gabe laughed. “You more than enjoy it, Cassie. You like him.”

Cas frowned. “Of course I like him. We’re friends.”

Gabe smirked. “No  I mean you  _ like _ him, like him. Come on. Cas, admit it.”

Cas laid in bed and thought about it. He really did like Dean, a lot. Maybe he even had feelings for Dean. But he still wasn’t ready.

 

It was the fifth Saturday. Cas was watching the first Iron Man movie, which Dean was horrified to hear he’d never seen. There was a bowl of popcorn in between them. Their hands would brush against one another every so often as they reached for popcorn.

It always sent a little chill through Cas every time it happened.

He thought about it. He wasn’t paying attention to the movie, just thinking about Dean’s hand.

He leaned over, grabbed the remote and paused the movie. Dean looked at him questioningly.

Cas very calmly set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, turned to Dean and said, “Kiss me.”

Dean’s eyes got big, but he leaned forward, took Cas’ face in his hands and kissed him.

Cas had never been kissed like that before in his life. He melted against Dean.

And Dean just kept kissing him. Dean’s tongue ran across the seam of Cas’ lips and Cas opened his mouth. Dean slid his tongue over Cas’ and Cas almost fainted, it felt so good and so right.

He had no conception of how long they kissed. Finally he had to pull back and take a deep breath. All he could smell in the air was the scent of their arousal. 

He looked at Dean, whose eyes were almost completely black. There was just a ring of green around his lust-blown pupils.

Cas suddenly realized where this was leading. 

“I can’t, Dean. I just can’t. I’m sorry but I’m still not ready. Please, forgive me. I never should have asked you to kiss me.”

Dean looked at Cas like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Please, don’t say that. I can wait. I really can. But don’t apologize for the kiss. It was amazing, and I know you felt it too.”

“I did, Dean. I felt it too. But…”

Dean nodded. “You’re not ready. I understand, I really do. But please, just tell me you think someday you will be.”

Cas nodded. “I know I will, Dean.”

“Then I can wait.”

 

That night in bed, Cas thought about the kissing and how wonderful it was. He thought about Michael and how very few kisses he ever gave Cas. He began to wonder. Was every alpha like Michael and Dean was just different, or was it the other way around?

He needed to know.

The next morning, he told Gabe he needed to talk and Gabe sat down with him.

“So, Dean and I kissed.”

Gabe grinned. “Cas, that’s wonderful!”

Cas nodded. “It was. It was wonderful. And nothing at all like when Michael kissed me. Which he didn’t very often. So I’m wondering…”

Gabe sat patiently.

“Is Dean weird? Like some kind of sex addict or something? Or was Michael a…”

Gabe interrupted him. “Cas, Michael was a cold fish. I never understood what you saw in him, but he was just cold. Dean is a normal, healthy alpha. Michael was the odd one.”

Cas nodded. He was beginning to see that his relationship with Michael was not all it could have been.

 


	8. Chapter 8

The next Saturday rolled around and Cas found himself, again, on the couch with Dean. Dean was asking him which movie he wanted to watch.

Cas said, very quietly, “I don’t think I want to watch a movie, Dean.”

Dean’s eyebrows went up. “You don’t?”

Cas blushed. “I think I want to kiss some more.”

When they both came up for air, Cas was panting like a dog who had been left out in the heat too long with no water. Dean wasn’t much better.

“Dean, I want… I  _ need _ to touch you. Can I touch you?”

“Oh yeah, Cas. touch me anywhere you want to.”

Cas put a hand under Dean’s T shirt and ran it over Dean’s chest. Dean took a breath and his eyes closed for a moment.

Cas loved the way Dean’s chest felt. It was solid and warm, and it was  _ Dean _ . Dean’s skin.

Cas looked at Dean. His hand found one of Dean’s nipples and he ran his fingers over it.

Dean let out a tiny moan.

Cas kissed Dean again, welcoming Dean’s tongue into his mouth. Dean slid one hand under Cas’ shirt and lightly pinched a nipple. Cas gasped into Dean’s mouth.

The next thing Cas knew, he was on his back on the couch with his legs far apart and Dean was between them. Dean was kissing him and running his hand all over Cas’ chest.

And they were both hard. Cas could feel Dean’s erection through his jeans, and he could feel his own erection against Dean’s thigh. 

He moved a little and his dick rubbed against Dean and it felt so good! He did it again.

Dean began to rut against Cas, and he was kissing him hard and Cas didn’t know what to do.

He knew what he  _ wanted _ to do, but he just couldn’t.

He began to say, “Dean, wait. Dean, stop.” into Dean’s mouth.

After a few moments, Dean stopped. He pulled back his face, stopped his rutting and just took a deep breath.

Cas pushed Dean off him and sat up.

“Dean… I want to, I really do. But…”

Dean sat back. “But what, Cas? Tell me.”

Cas just blurted out, “I’m afraid.”

Dean looked amazed. “Afraid? Of me?”

“No! Not of you, Dean, never of you. I’m afraid that, well, that I’m not good enough for you.”

Dean scoffed, “What are you talking about, Cas? Of course you’re good enough.”

Cas sighed. “I mean, uh… sexually. I don’t have much experience and I don’t think I’d be very good at it.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Cas?”

Cas felt like crying. “I was a virgin when I got mated to Michael. And it’s come to my attention that he was, well, cold. We hardly ever had sex, and when we did, it was always in the same position. He liked me to present. And it wasn’t very fulfilling. So you see, I’m sure I’m no good at the sex thing. And you deserve someone who is good at it.”

Dean started to laugh. Cas was mystified at what Dean could have possibly found funny about what he had said.

Dean stopped laughing. “I’m sorry, Cas. I am not laughing at you, I swear. I’m laughing at what a dumbass your mate was. He had  _ you _ , and he didn’t know what to do with you. He had sexy, amazing  _ you _ , and he…” Dean started to chuckle again. “And he didn’t make mad passionate love to you every chance he got. Man, what a fool.”

Cas listened to everything Dean said, blushing furiously. 

“But Dean, I don’t know what to do in bed.”

Dean grabbed Cas’ face in his hands. “Baby, I’d love to show you. I would really love to show you how to make love. I’d fucking love to.”

And then they were kissing again. The next thing Cas was aware of what that his shirt was off, and so was Dean’s and Dean had his mouth on one of Cas’ nipples and it felt like he was on fire. Like he was burning from the inside out and he’d never felt like that before.

Then Dean pulled back and stood up. He picked up Cas and threw him over his shoulder. Cas was aware that he was slicking profusely. More than he ever had in his life, and his ass was right next to Dean’s face. Dean turned his head and sniffed.

“Man, you smell good.”

Dean carried Cas to his bedroom, and dumped him very carefully on the bed. Then he proceeded to take Cas’ pants and underwear off. Cas was panting and slicking and he felt like he was going to lose his mind.

Then Dean’s pants were off and Cas could see his erect dick. It was huge and dripping precum. Cas was fascinated looking at it.

But then Dean was on top of him and kissing him and he lost all ability to think rationally. He just moaned and spread his legs.

Dean kissed his way down Cas’ body until he got to Cas’ cock. 

He took it into his mouth. No one had ever done that to Cas before.

“AAAAHHH” Cas heard himself yell but he couldn’t help himself. He had lost all ability to control what he said or did.

Dean sucked up and down Cas’ cock, and Cas continued to make noises that had never come out of him before. Noises like, “nGGGhh” and ‘AUGH”

Dean lifted Cas’ balls and Cas felt himself thrust up into Dean’s mouth.

Then Dean’s mouth wasn’t there anymore and Cas felt sad.

He didn’t feel that way for long. Dean had pushed up Cas’ legs and now he was… he was licking Cas’ hole! Cas didn’t even know that was a thing. 

He did now. He cried out over and over.

“Dean! Oh my god,,, DEAN! Oh fuck…”

Dean kept licking at Cas’ slick and sticking his tongue inside Cas’ hole. Which made Cas slick all the more.

Finally, after what seemed like days to Cas, Dean lifted his face to look at Cas. Cas looked at Dean. His chin was covered with Cas’ slick and Cas was sure he had never seen anything sexier.

Dean wiped his chin and moved up over Cas. he grabbed Cas’ legs and wrapped them around his hips and Cas locked his ankles. It just seemed like the thing to do.

And then he felt Dean’s cock head pushing against his hole. It felt impossibly huge but Cas wanted it inside him more than he wanted to live at that point.

It went in and Cas gasped. It stretched him farther than he felt he could take and it burned. After a moment. Cas decided he kind of liked the burn.

Dean slid in so slowly, Cas was sure he was going to lose his mind now. Dean would stop every once in awhile, allowing Cas to relax and take more.

And then Dean was in all the way. Cas felt so full and so good…

“Dean, I think I… need you… to, well, move?”

Dean chuckled and pulled back just a little, then thrust back in.

Cas tightened his legs around Dean and thrust up. 

He began to say, “Oh fuck! Dean, god… fuck… oh my god… ooohhhhhh.”

Dean began to thrust in and out of Cas and Cas had to close his eyes, it felt so good, so amazing. 

Dean was kissing him again and he sucked on Dean’s tongue. He never knew it could be like this. Cas was agreeing with Dean… Michael was a fool.

Cas’ cock was rigid and every once in a while it would spurt out a shot of precum. 

Then Cas felt Dean’s knot. It was banging on his rim. He wanted that knot more than anything he had ever wanted in his life.

“Dean… please… I need it. Please…”

Dean whispered hot in Cas’ ear, “What? What do you want, baby? Tell me.”

Cas yelled, “I want your knot! I want it now!”

Dean grinned . “Wow, I didn’t have you pegged for being bossy.”

Cas just frowned at him, but then Dean pushed his knot into Cas.

Cas felt himself clench down on it and he came so hard, he almost passed out. Cum shot out of him, more than he had ever seen come out of him.

He yelled again. “AAAHHHH fuck!”

He felt Dean coming inside him, over and over. He felt full with Dean’s cum. It was wonderful. It made him happy. He didn’t know which he liked better, his own orgasm or Dean’s. 

He looked up into Dean’s eyes. That was new too. Being able to see Dean. 

Dean pulled them over on their sides. Cas looked at Dean’s face. Dean was smiling. 

“Was it… I mean… did I… was it okay?”

Dean grinned like a fool.

“Baby, it was the best sex I ever had.”

“Really?”

Dean kissed Cas. “Yes, really. I think the fact that I’m in love with you has a lot to do with it.”

Cas didn’t think he’d heard Dean correctly.

“You… love me?”

“Yes, Cas I do. I’m in love with you and I have been since about the second time I saw you.”

Cas smiled. “I love you too, Dean. I think I loved you from the very first time we met.”

Dean laughed a little. “So, that’s why you had the panic attack… because of my handsome face or my sexy body?”

Cas looked very serious. “It was because you were so good to me.”

Dean kissed him again and they fell asleep.

 

They woke up suddenly to the sound of someone beating on Dean’s front door.

Dean groaned and got up, looking around until he found some sweats and pulled them on. The pounding continued.

Dean walked to the door, yelling, “Yeah, yeah! I’m coming for fuck’s sake!”

He opened the door to an infuriated Gabriel.

“Where is my brother! Is he here? If you hurt him…”

Dean looked down at the short ball of fury. “Yes, he’s here…”

Cas heard everything. He wrapped the top sheet around himself and, not seeing his cane anywhere, he hobbled to the living room, where Gabe was still yelling at Dean.

“Do you  _ know _ what time it is? It’s two in the goddamn morning! I’ve been calling and calling and he doesn’t answer his phone…”

“My phone is in my pants, and I don’t seem to know where my parts are at the moment.”

Gabe stopped yelling and looked at Cas, wrapped in the sheet.

His face broke into a huge grin.

“Cassie! Oh my god… I’m sorry. I was just worried but I can see there was nothing to worry about so I’ll just go home and… yeah… sorry…”

He gave Cas a thumbs up and mouthed ‘Way to go’ and left, shutting the door behind him.

Dean started to laugh and picked Cas up bridal style and carried him back to bed.

And since they were awake anyway, they had round two..

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Cas woke up. He was on his side and Dean was pressed up against him, one hand thrown over Cas’ waist and one leg over Cas’ thigh. They fit together perfectly. Every inch of Dean’s body was against every inch of Cas. 

It was like they were made for this.

Cas thought back to the two times they’d made love. Cas never knew. He never knew it could be like that… like this. He felt Dean’s soft cock pressed against his ass.

He thought about what it was like with Michael. He always thought that was just what sex was, a few pushes into him from behind, a quick knot and then sleep. Now he knew better.

But that made him think about his pup. The pup he’d never get to know, never get to hold in his arms.

He started to cry, trying to be quiet so he didn’t wake Dean up.

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

He’d woken Dean up anyway. He turned so he could see Dean’s worried face.

“I miss my pup.”

Dean kissed his wet eyes. “I’m so sorry, Cas.”

Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean.

“I want to have  _ your _ pup, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes got big and then he was smiling. Cas looked at the crinkles around Dean’s eyes.

“You do? Really? Cas you’re not just saying that because of your dead pup?’

Cas knew what he really wanted in life, and this… this was it.

“I’m saying that because I want to have your pup, Dean. I mean, it’s probably too early to be talking about pups, but…”

Dean interrupted him. “It’s not too early, Cas. I’d love to see your belly big with my pup. I’d fucking adore that!”

  
  


**Ten months later**

 

Cas walked into the kitchen, where his husband was fixing breakfast. He snuggled up against Dean’s back as much as he could.

Dean turned around and smiled.

“How’s my husband today? And how is my son doing?” He pressed his hand to Cas’ huge belly.

“He’s been kicking me since I woke up. He’s going to be a real handful.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less. He is my pup, after all.”

Cas smiled and kissed his husband. 

“Love you, Dean.”

“Oh, I love you too, baby.” he bent over to press his lips against Cas’ belly button.

“Love you too, Jack. Give your daddy a break, okay?”

The pup kicked him in the mouth.

 


End file.
